do I crave them or does my heart crave attention?

can’t distinguish want and wanting to be wanted

calls me beautiful and I fall on non-existent desire

manic fun for a day, then the never-ending tired

 

I love that they like me, but love nothing else

play with their emotions, untangling my own

open hearts get crushed by my sick mind

sorry to those who unfortunately love me

 

can’t imagine holding hands or anything after

touch starved, yet uncomfortable with feeling

skin on skin will make me sob and heave

with longing, and at the same time disgust

 

energy for emotions is fleeting, it mocks me

wait for them to message, my intestines flitter

dread the notification and don’t open till later

wishing for the day the wings stop decaying